When I first started posting on Instagram, there was a naive delight to it.
No one was watching me. I had zero expectations of myself or the platform. I didn’t know the “rules”…
So I created each day, sometimes multiple times a day, and shared out of excitement.
Look at the clever calligraphy phrase that inspired me today! Look at these flourishes I just learned, aren’t they neat?
But, over time, as people started to notice, and reward me with likes and comments and attention…
I started to turn away from my the fuel of my own inner delight, and towards the buzzy energy of other peoples’ praise and admiration.
Then, my calligraphy videos started going viral and large accounts started re-posting my creations…
Positive attention from others is a mighty tasty drug. It’s LOUDER and shinier than the gentle nourishment of your own quiet desires.
Before I knew it, Instagram had become a daily chore.
“What am I going to do for my post today?”
“I have to come up with something fresh and new or people will get bored.”
“Only 500 likes today? What went wrong???”
“I keep hearing that you have to respond to every single comment and DM, so I guess I’ll just grit my teeth and do it.”
Even now, when I open up the Instagram app, I remember the feeling of GRINDING my way through each new post.
Choose some witty or trendy quote from the list I kept in my “Notes” app.
Set up my camera to film.
Attempt the calligraphy 2-3 times ‘cause the first time wasn’t perfect enough.
Edit the video in a separate app - brighten, crop, speed up…
Upload to Instagram and maybe add a filter.
Reach deep inside to find some inspiring words to add as a caption.
Paste in the mandatory (to me) 30 relevant hashtags.
Hit “Post”.
Heave a sigh of relief and cross that task off my to-do list.
Compulsively check IG every thirty minutes for the rest of the day to see how the post is doing.
Plaster on a fake smile and type out a chirpy response to each comment.
Feel a temporary THRILL if the post did especially well and a soul-deep disappointment if the post didn’t get as much engagement as I wanted it to.
DO YOU SENSE THE TERRIBLE ENERGY LURKING UNDER THAT LIST?
ME to YOU, my audience:
“Oh god, I’m working so hard and showing up every day with a smile to create this for your pleasure… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE like it. If you like it a lot, then I can go through the next few hours feeling good about myself. Oh no, you don’t like it? I can change it for you! I can do it better tomorrow - please like it tomorrow, okaaaayyyyy?”
The thing is, that list above (with some of the snarky words removed) could show up totally unironically in a blog post entitled: “How to Boost Your Instagram Engagement in 2023!!!”
That list is what many creative entrepreneurs are slogging through each day. Because we feel like that’s what we SHOULD be doing in order to be successful.
>>>>>>>FUCK THAT FOREVER.
Here’s my new Instagram energy:
“My unique creativity, life experience and insights are SO VALUABLE that whatever I feel like posting today will help someone.
ESPECIALLY if it’s not perfect, especially if it’s not what people expect from a calligraphy account.
I trust that the people who need to hear what I have to say are out there and hungry for exactly the way I choose to show up today.
If YOU are one of those people, I love you and am so happy to connect with you. We do not need an exchange of likes or comments to do that.
I trust myself and I trust YOU.”
I’m going to try my best to remember this energy every single day, because it’s the one of the most valuable things I can do for the world right now.
With Love & Strength,
Shinah